5 Ways to Live a Happier Life Starting Today—No Matter Where You’re Starting From

Not even the happiest person on earth would reject more happiness. We can all be happier, and we should all strive to find happiness wherever, and whoever, we are at any given moment. As someone who experiences extreme self-criticism and discouragement in my weaknesses, I've had to really work at developing skills necessary to free myself from inner misery and choose happiness even when it feels impossible.

Happiness truly is a choice-or more accurately, a series of consistent choices. Life doesn't hand happiness out at birth like greeters giving programs at the door to the opera house. Nobody else can make you experience happiness. It's willingly born within and nurtured. Much like growing a fruit tree, it feels like eternal work until the fruits begin to grow, and you finally taste the sweet satisfaction of personal accomplishment.

It's easy to think you'll be happier if you can just get a raise at work, just find somebody special to date, just move to a better home, afford a nicer car, if you just had anybody other than yourself supporting you, or if the seemingly embarrassing things about you were only normal. But happiness isn't related to wealth, relationship status, the quality of material possessions, or anything outside us. It's being at peace amidst life's storms.

Here are five ways to live a happier life starting today-no matter where you're starting from:

1. Simplify

If one concept has remained true throughout my life, it's that simplicity is synonymous to beauty. It's true when cleaning and decorating my home, planning events, giving gifts, gardening, scheduling, relationships, my career, my choice of vehicle, in storytelling, music, traveling, studying, really every aspect of life.

When in doubt, simplify.

Is your closet stuffed and chaotic? Simplify. Keep what you wear regularly. Get rid of the rest. Do you never find a moment to gather your thoughts? Simplify. No amount of success is worth the deterioration of your mental health. Cancel kids' practices, outings with friends, whatever you must to maintain your sanity, and the overall health of your family.

Is your lifestyle too expensive for your income? Simplify! Rock your natural lashes and nails. Let your hair grow an extra two months between cuts. Let the gray show through. Liberate yourself from the world's demands. There's not much it can demand to which you can't respond, "No."

Simplicity is most beautiful when applied in reactions to pain.

Grudges are far too heavy to lug around. Simplify by freeing them in the wild and focusing on your peace. Jealousy is far too prickly to hold. Leave it in the weeds where it belongs. Depression isn't something you carry, it's more like a clingy rain cloud. When the sunshine doesn't break through, simplify. Don't fight it. Let the droplets water your garden. Empathy and compassion always need nurturing.

Professional pilot and world-renowned ecclesiastic leader, Dieter Uchtdorf, counsels: "What do you suppose pilots do when they encounter turbulence? A student pilot may think that increasing speed is a good strategy because it will get them through the turbulence faster. But that may be the wrong thing to do. Professional pilots understand that there is an optimum turbulence penetration speed that will minimize the negative effects of turbulence. And most of the time that would mean to reduce your speed. The same principle applies also to speed bumps on a road."

If I understand correctly, he's far more eloquently stating that in times of trouble, we should simplify. If you're unhappy, begin by simplifying. See if you feel a little lighter.

2. Set One Goal Until It's Habitual

I'm both a chronic goal-setter and a sporadic sloth. I make lists, calendars, and schedules better than any professional planner. I lay out exactly what needs to happen to reach my dream life. My week long plans, six-month plans, and five-year plans are so meticulous they'd launch a motivated person into unimaginable prosperity.

But a goal of mine is nothing more than a mayfly; it brews for two years somewhere in the junk drawer of my brain in a state of larvae developing its wings, then upon hatching, mates quickly with my pen before falling, fatigued, back into the depths of my subconscious to die. Twenty-four hours is an abundant lifespan for my goals.

Always-always-I'm too tired to get up at six the next morning to begin my new, energetic life. It doesn't help that insomnia is most aggressive on nights preceding an important event. Furthermore, the utterly haphazard motivation from the previous day abandons me to the desolate truth that I'm not willing to sacrifice what I want in the moment (sleep and burritos) for what I want in the long run. I'm so bad at it that sacrifice isn't even on this list. (It's not like I can lie; I order hot wings and a salted pretzel three times a week. Does that sound like someone qualified to preach about sacrifice?)

The key to goal setting for wretches like me is to pick one thing-just one!-that minimal effort can improve. Then work on it until it's habitual, until you no longer think about it, until it's part of who you are.

Just as a marathon is completed one step at a time, getting from who you are today to who you want to be is best done one simple change at a time.

I'm talking super simple-so simple it doesn't seem like an actual goal.

A quick example is to stop touching your phone in the restroom. It stays in another room or in your pocket. (Or, if you're my mom, your bra.) See if your mood improves. Improvement may be as simple as saving yourself seven minutes and some hemorrhoid-related discomfort.

Another example is to limit social media to fifteen minutes a day. Set an alarm. Once it goes off, no more social media for the day. This wouldn't apply to, say, an online marketing job. Just personal social media. Spend your free time doing other things. See how your mood improves.

Another example is to stop eating after a certain (realistic) hour each night. Brush and floss at a designated time and put nothing else in your mouth except maybe water. Similar goals can be set for electronic devices-cell phones, TV, etc.

Maybe your goal is to schedule ten minutes to stretch each morning. Perhaps it's to drink eight ounces of water before every meal. Or write down one reason every day why it would be beneficial to forgive someone toward whom you hold a grudge. Forgiveness itself is a lofty goal; writing down one reason each day that forgiveness is important is simple.

Maybe you'll download a language learning app and spend ten minutes a day learning a new phrase. Maybe you want to be more outgoing, or get back in the dating game (both enormous undertakings) so, to get started, you'll ask a stranger an interesting question once a week.

It can be as easy as washing your face before bed or telling a family member you love them every night. Whatever you choose, start today. And don't set another personal goal until you've mastered this one. Remember, make it achievable! Don't say you're going to stop swearing; eliminate undesirable words from your vocabulary one at a time.

3. Laugh at Everything-Especially the Awful Stuff

Laughter diminishes adversity's power.

Horrible things happen in this world. Many of them overwhelm and debilitate us. The easiest way I've found to break the chains of despair is to laugh as often as I can.

I used to consider many forms of humor, and many comedians in particular, inappropriate and crass. It wasn't until I found myself in the darkest gloom that I experienced the liberation limitless laughter offers. Listening to stand up specials or reading funny jokes helped my helpless nights. Humor is now my favorite art form.

As a religious person, it would be dishonest to attribute the restoration of lost hope to anything but sacred experiences. However, I know religious experiences aren't universal.

Laughter, however, is. And it's the next best thing. Even more awesome, it's free. And it's contagious so it's easy to give.

I comprehend now that people laugh about horrendous things because it abolishes the power those things have over them and over the human family. By laughing at our hardships, we take back the power they stole. This includes personal attacks from depression, anxiety, and other inner demons.

4. Discover the Fruits, Branches, and Trunk of Your Life

I'll start by saying, if a person drains the life out of you, let them go. The only thing connecting them to you is your willingness to give, give, give. Eventually, you run out. And the person that gets hurt is you. People who take, take, take will attach themselves to anyone with something to give. You're not responsible to quench their insatiable greed.

If you are a taker, you're certainly less happy than you could be. My advice is to stop, let yourself fall wherever you are, pick yourself up, and rebuild with your own hands and tools. You'll never find happiness depending on others to provide it.

Most of us genuinely want to help others. We all want to be useful, to be needed. But when all our time is spent caring for others, it destroys us.

That being said, give of yourself. Selflessness is an important key to happiness. Serving others creates a peace within us nothing else can produce. But it's hard to balance giving and caring for ourselves. The trick is to give what's left after you've tended to your own needs. As you strengthen yourself, you'll find you have more and more left over to give.

There's a reason passengers on a turbulent flight are instructed to put their own masks on before attending to those around them.

Learn to see yourself as a fruit tree. There's a difference between bearing fruit and being used for wood. In its season, a healthy fruit tree bears unlimited fruit. That fruit needs to be taken and used or it falls and rots at its feet. For humans, the fruit we produce are the little sacrifices were able and happy to make without feeling drained. A single fruit is a simple thing like running a cup of sugar to the neighbor or stopping to help a stranger pick up dropped items. It's calling to check on a loved one or giving away an item someone else can benefit from using more than you. These are the acts you can do while going about your day. They're simply part of who you are. If these little acts of service aren't performed, the good in us falls away until we're surrounded by rotting fruits.

Keep in mind, fruit is only produced in its season. Even from small and simple tasks we need to rest, check in with ourselves, and make sure we're doing okay. But your fruit is in season, give, give, give!

So, what are our branches? When cut correctly, healthy tree branches can be used for wood and will grow back just fine. This is something that can be done year-round but far more sparingly as the number of branches produced is significantly less than the number of fruits. The sacrificial branches of our lives are greater things like helping to raise a grandchild, routinely driving an elderly friend, or a friend without a vehicle, wherever they need to go, giving large discounts at your small business to those experiencing financial trouble, or agreeing to help with other people's projects like moving or painting their house. It can be lending someone money. These kinds of sacrifices add up quickly, and just like branches pruned too many times, they can stop growing. When that happens, any sacrifices that follow begin to cut into your trunk.

When giving of ourselves cuts into our trunk, it's time to stop, and let people go. Let them work on themselves for a time while you work on yourself. If your sacrifices aren't helping others get back on their feet, then your efforts aren't being appreciated and, more importantly, they're being performed in vain. I call this "pointless suffering." Nobody can sustain another person constantly without eventually running out of herself. It's not a matter of selfishness; it's a matter of survival. And surviving shouldn't be miserable. It should be healthy.

Take time assessing your fruits, your branches, and your trunk. Remember, they're different for each person. Be selfless, be loving, be kind. But be firm in your self-care. Be in charge of your physical, mental, and spiritual health.

When developing characters, I use the acronym SPEMPARFS to get to know them. It helps me know where they're starting in the story and where they'll end up, thus guiding each character's arc. SPEMPARFS stands for: Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Mental, Psychological, Artistic, Romantic, Financial, and Social.

I've found immense progress in my life as I applied this same acronym to myself. Where am I in each area? Where do I want to get? I didn't fully understand the fruits and branches of my life until I spent good time considering my well-being in each of these categories.

For example, knowing myself in this way has helped me say, "No," to acquaintances needing help when I realized my romantic life was suffering. My husband has become much more of a priority in my life since applying these principles, which in turn has led to far greater happiness. He is, as it turns out, my trunk.

5. Love Your Story and Cease Comparing It

Consider the thousands of stories you've heard. Jo March and Harry Potter are both powerful protagonists, but for very different reasons. Imagine if they loved themselves less because they aren't the other. What would their stories lose?

You are the protagonist of your story. We each get one. Our time is precious because it's limited. There's no room for pettiness, arrogance, or spite in our stories. Experience the glorious, the awe-striking, the subtly celestial. Learn and grow from the humility of roses. Savor the delicious and share the lovely. Though it often feels our lives are happening to us, we all have the power to tell the story of our lives.

If something needs changing, change it. We miss way too many unexplored, fantastically scenic roads following others down paths on which we don't belong. Especially considering the people being followed more often than not have no idea where they're headed.

Other people's stories are not yours. Your story is not someone else's to tell.

Stop comparing and just see how much happier you become.